Setting Priorities: Going from Reactive to Proactive
Daily choices are as important as major decisions, and they add up over time.
In life, we are constantly making choices. We all have so much to get done, and never enough time to work with. So how do we decide where to invest our time and energy? To be honest, sometimes it can feel like we don’t have much of a say in the matter.
How many of us schedule our vacations around the busy season at work? Or sacrifice a healthy, home-cooked meal and opt for fast-food, after being left depleted by chugging through our never-ending to-do list. Sometimes it can be too easy to slip into autopilot and carry on with our jam-packed day, but it’s important to practice breaking this habit and work on becoming a proactive participant in your life. The first step is setting priorities.
Without priorities, you find yourself working in reactive mode, putting out every fire that pops up along the way. So what’s the best way to begin the practice of seting priorities? First, I would recommend putting yourself in the driver’s seat and identifying the things in life that matter the most to you. Try to look past societal expectations and peer pressure, and worry less about what you “should” be focusing on. Instead, take an honest assessment of what you want to achieve in your life. Now, of course, we all have responsibilities that we need to tend to, so I’m not saying that you should disregard those duties and responsibilities, but try to tap into your inner self and listen to your gut reaction.
It’s been said that if you want to fill a jar with rocks, you should always put the largest stones in first, and the smaller pieces in last, since those will fill in the remaining spaces. What are the large stones in your life? What are the filler pieces? Here are some tips to help you find out.
Getting Started on Setting Priorities
You’re likely familiar with the Pareto principle, better know by the 80-20 rule. Basically, 80% of outcomes are tied to 20% of actions. This is a helpful lens to use when setting goals and priorities. If someone is trying to prioritize their happiness, how can they apply this principle? Well, in this case we would say that 80% of the time when we are feeling true happiness, 20% of our activities are the drivers behind this feeling. That’s powerful information!
Think about all the different aspects in our life where we spend time and energy. Relationships, exercise, entertainment, and learning come to mind. Maybe you love to shop or you’re a creative at heart who loves to paint? If you had to narrow down your list of activities to focus on the ones that truly bring you joy, what would they be?
Personally, I love spending time and keeping in touch with friends and family, and I also find joy in making new connections. People are important to me, so I would say that relationships are an important source to my happiness.
When assessing the times that I feel the best, it’s when I am prioritizing my wellness. I’m happy and energetic when I am eating right, being physically active, and getting plenty of sleep at night. I like a good Netflix binge, but I love waking up feeling refreshed after a good night's sleep! So for my second happiness factor, I’ve decided health is vital.
Finally, I am someone who loves to learn. Whether it’s taking language classes, listening to a podcast, or taking city walking tours on vacation, learning has always played a role in my happiness. If I’m not growing or making new discoveries, I’m not fully engaged, so learning is definitely something that I need to prioritize for myself.
Voila! My key factors for happiness are relationships, health, and learning. So how do I apply this to my daily life?
Making Choices that Align to Your Priorities
After identifying the key factors, the next step is to make active choices that prioritize activities that align with these areas. So instead of vegging out and watching the Masked Singer after work (and I do love the show), I might attend a workout class instead…and watch the show on DVR a little bit later, if I have some extra time.
Another example would be to forgo that impulse to buy a new purse, and instead, take a wine tasting class with some friends (which sounds truly amazing right now). Once you know what activities actually bring you joy, you’ll know how to prioritize your time, energy, and money in ways that will benefit your life.
Practice Make Perfect
So what are the factors that bring happiness to your life? What would you like to accomplish and what is the 20% that you need to invest in to reach your goal? Take some time to think it through, and from there, you can begin setting your priorities and making proactive choices. And of course, you should revisit and refresh your priorities regularly. Change is the only constant in our lives, so you shouldn’t feel pressure to stay the course if it doesn’t align with your objectives anymore.
As I mentioned earlier, it can be very easy to slip into autopilot, so don’t be discouraged if you set priorities and still find yourself falling into reactive mode. Being proactive in day to day life takes practice and mindfulness, and the more you work at it, the easier it will feel over time. Keep at it, and eventually you’ll notice your life taking shape around the choices that you’ve been making, and hopefully, you’ll feel that extra bit of happiness too!
